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Forgiveness Updates Interpersonal Memories to Be Less Negative

Songzhi Wu
Timothy W. Broom
Sasha Brietzke
Jonathan Phillips
Kevin N. Ochsner
Lila Davachi
Meghan L. Meyer
All your life you’re told forgiveness is for you. But we’re never told why it’s for you. It means you’re working on owning your life.
Shani Tran
Therapist and Founder, The Shani Project
Forgiveness is nothing less than the way we heal the world. We heal the world by healing each and every one of our hearts. The process is simple, but it is not easy.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
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Forgiveness Updates Interpersonal Memories to Be Less Negative

Songzhi Wu
Timothy W. Broom
Sasha Brietzke
Jonathan Phillips
Kevin N. Ochsner
Lila Davachi
Meghan L. Meyer
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Forgiveness is crucial for restoring social bonds, yet how it shapes impressions of poor treatment remains unclear. Building on memory updating research, we propose forgiveness can change the memory of a negative experience by incorporating information considered during the forgiveness process. On Day 1 of neuroimaging, participants (N = 23, data collected 2022–2023) observed which stimuli two other participants (or “targets”) chose for them to view, believing the targets selected from neutral and negative images (encoding phase). Most chosen images were highly negative, indicating the target had treated the participant poorly. Participants then learned each target’s reasoning, with one being apologetic and the other nonchalant. While still undergoing neuroimaging, participants rated the negative images again while instructed to either “forgive the target” or simply “view the selections again” for the apologetic and nonchalant targets, respectively (experimental manipulation phase). On Day 2 of neuroimaging, participants rerated the images (reconsideration phase). Forgiveness reduced the negativity ratings of the images, an effect that persisted into Day 2. Two brain regions demonstrated that information considered while forgiving was incorporated into the memory of a forgiven act: the dorsomedial prefrontal cortex, associated with mentalizing, and the posterior hippocampus, linked to episodic memory. These findings suggest at least one way forgiveness works is by understanding the transgressor, updating related details, and consolidating them into memory. Instead of “forgive and forget,” forgiveness may involve a “forgive and update” process, revising memories to aid reconciliation.

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