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Did You Really Forgive Me: Controlled Motivation in Transgressor Reconciliation Outcomes

Carlina Conrad
Carlina Conrad
Kriti Jain
Kriti Jain
Yupeng He
Yupeng He
All your life you’re told forgiveness is for you. But we’re never told why it’s for you. It means you’re working on owning your life.
Shani Tran
Therapist and Founder, The Shani Project
Forgiveness is nothing less than the way we heal the world. We heal the world by healing each and every one of our hearts. The process is simple, but it is not easy.
Archbishop Desmond Tutu
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Did You Really Forgive Me: Controlled Motivation in Transgressor Reconciliation Outcomes

Carlina Conrad
Carlina Conrad
Kriti Jain
Kriti Jain
Yupeng He
Yupeng He
NO. of participants
Date
2025
Type of Evidence
Type of Paper
Empiricism
open access
Yes
No
sample size

Due to the inevitable nature of conflict and the human desire to maintain relationships, it is essential that we fully understand the path to reconciliation. However, research on the apology-forgiveness social script has focused on the victim’s perspective while downstream transgressor reconciliation efforts are underexplored. Across three studies, we demonstrate that transgressor apology motivation influences evaluations of the motivation and sincerity of the victim’s forgiveness, ultimately impacting transgressor restoration efforts based on the Self-Determination Framework. Study 1, utilizing a behavioral game, explores the effect of transgressor apology motivation on transgressor restoration efforts post-victim-forgiveness. Both Study 2 and Study 3 tested the proposed underlying mechanism - the effect of transgressor apology motivation on restoration efforts being serially mediated by first the inferred motivation of forgiveness and then the perceived forgiveness sincerity. While Study 2 investigated the proposed model in a more controlled environment using a scenario study in which motivation was manipulated, Study 3 looked at autobiographical recall, allowing for varying levels of controlled vs autonomous motivations. In addition, the alternative mechanism of guilt was ruled out in Study 3. This research contributes to the emerging literature on the role of motivation in the apology-forgiveness path to reconciliation.

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